Who goes there?!?

It's amazing what happens when you don't live in southern hell! I got a phone call from our good friend Erin this last week. She, Jaime and their kids had a free weekend and were wondering if we were going to be free. I've been talking with her about coming down, so this was a great opportunity because Buddy was actually off on Saturday. So, down they came!

We were really wondering if that was going to happen at first because we've been having some very disagreeable weather the last few days. Ok, by "days" I mean "weeks". There has been so much rain the past 9-10 days. Granted, I'm not that upset because I'd gone through a bit of "rain withdrawl" in our two years in Brownsville, but after the first 8 days of rain it just got a bit miserable.

So, with all the rain falling and reports of tornadoes and flooded roads and whatnot, we weren't sure they were going to come down. But, by some miracle, the rains let up in Houston at about 5:45 and they got on the road. That's when I had to begin to scurry.

You see, two weeks before Friday when Buddy and I had collected one of my last guaranteed bonuses, we bought the last of our necessary furniture. I needed a new recliner, we desperately needed a dining room table and we needed a book shelf of some kind to display some books and memorabilia. Well, it had arrived but was not going to be able to be delivered until Tuesday. That wasn't really good enough for me, especially with the probability of company arriving in a few short hours. So, I decided to rent a U-Haul van and we would take all of this home and put it together ourselves. And by "ourselves" I mean "Buddy". This also got us a $75 refund on the delivery fee of the furniture, which was double the cost of the U-Haul.

I up and left work about 3:30 after getting everything done Friday afternoon (I'd gone in at 7). We had to go to the U-Haul place and spent almost an hour renting the van. They aren't the brightest bunch there at U-Haul. We got over to Furniture Row to pick up the furniture and immediately got the refund on the delivery charge. They prepared everything but we found we'd have to make two trips because the chairs weren't put together. Apparently, we wouldn't get to do that, which was fine by us.

So, two trips there and returning the van and we were home. Buddy immediately got to work putting things together (he's like that) and I left to go get stuff to put on the table. In hindsight, I shouldn't have gone alone. I had a creative spurt and ended up leaving with WAY more than I intended. But, I found some great stuff and we LOVE how the table looks!

Also, having company come into town was a catalyst for us to do a few other things around the house we've been meaning to do. We got some mirrors that Buddy has had since he worked at Office Depot hung up. We were able to not only put books but some of our Hawaii memorabilia on our bookshelf. We got a few more pictures hung up. Oh, and we moved an old Ikea bookshelf that no longer matches our decorum moved out of the room. All of those are things we've been thinking of doing but it seems that we never had a reason compelling enough to get us off our buts.

Anyway, Erin, Jaime and the kids got here and we've had a great time. A short thunderstorm yesterday ruined the outing we were going to have, but we made up for it with some fun times in the apartment. I stayed home with the kids while Erin, Jaime and Buddy went shopping for dinner. Buddy, of course, had to show off his culinary skills for our guests who had never had the opportunity to have his cooking.

I must say, Buddy was quite the little entertainer. We had pre-dinner snacks galore. Buddy had bought some really smoky Gouda and paired that with some black-pepper & olive oil triscuts. Those tastes paired REALLY well together. He also got some Brie cheese and fig preserves, which was very light in comparison. I went back and forth a lot. For dinner itself we had a butternut squash risotto with melted parmesean cheese. He also made a grand marnier roasted chicken that was quite tasty.

It was so nice to break in our table with good food and good company. We stayed up late watching TV and laughed and laughed. Unfortunately Buddy had to go to work early this morning so he went to bed earlier than the rest of us. But we've had a good time despite the rain and whatnot.

Today I think the guests are going to the USS Lexington and I'm gonna do housework. Buddy is coming home from work soon so I'm gonna go after the dishes and laundry. I'm so happy having company!

Happy thoughts ...

Happy 4th of July! Mine is definitely not the most fantastic uses of the holiday, I'm afraid. Buddy is working and I'm not doing much of anything. I've been reading one of my books, enjoying the sights, sounds and tastes of Starbucks while doing it.

We're at the tail end of a pay period (payday is Friday) so funding for extracurricular activities is limited. That is actually fine by me. I've spent some of this morning looking at my retirement projections and reading financial planning advise. We really aren't in a settled place where I would like us to be.

What I read this morning was telling me that I should have about three months salary in my savings account. As of now, I've got about 1/3 of that. While we look like we're going to be fine on money after we both get our anticipated raises in September, that is good for day-to-day living. I'd like to have that rainy day reserve built up for when the unforseen creeps in to reality. Fortunately for us, we bought the last of our necessary furniture with my last bonus check. That means future bonuses can go directly into the savings pipeline.

Speaking of new furniture, I'm so anxious for it to arrive! We are expecting it'll be here sometime soon after Friday. We got a beautiful oak table. It is bar height with four tables. We also got a new recliner. That's really what I'm anxious to get. It will be nice to end the nights of eating dinner on the sofa, but comfort for my bum as I lounge will be even better. :) Besides, the new chair will go with our overall color scheme much better than the free chair from Granny & Paw-Paw. It's really on it's last leg.

But anyway, we were hoping to do a three week trip to Europe in two years but I doubt that's going to happen with my newfound urge to save our money. Also, since my bonus is effectively being cut in half, I don't see how we are going to do that in two years anyway. That won't stop me from doing all the same reading and learning I was going to do to prepare for the trip. If I can't take an actual vacation, at least I could take short, daily mental ones into other parts of the world. Doubtless, my learning adventures through books and language software will take a dent out of what I can save, but whatever.

Russian became very difficult for me to continue learning because I had nobody with whom to interact in the language. I learned a lot and it's very fascinating, but without the ability to really practice and put the new skills in place, I find it very cumbersome to make any headway.

But with our shared desire to go to Europe, Buddy seems intent to learn a new language. Unfortunately for the efforts I've already made, it isn't Russian. We've decided to make an investment into using the Rosetta Stone software, we're just trying to figure out which language with which to begin our journey. The debate at the moment is between Italian and French. French would probably be the most practical, but that's why I think we're going to choose Italian. We seem to be anything but practical. Anyway, doing it together will allow us to practice with one another. Among benefits like being able to grow intellectually as a couple, it'll be SO much easier to gossip in public without fear of retaliation. ;)

Ok, a really scary man just sat down next to me at Starbucks, so I think I should go. He's wearing a sweatsuit but he seems to think the shirt is a belly shirt. He is also seems to find himself in the false understanding that his sweatpants should not actually cover his ass, but give a full view of it. *sigh* I need to wash my brain.

Walking with Father Time

This morning I was doing some of my weekly eyebrow maintenance. As I sat, being all "girly" I started thinking about how obsessed gay culture is with image. From what we put on our bodies to what we look like when we take everything off, gay men seem to be more obsessed with perfection than our heterosexual male counterparts. Studies have shown that too, so I'm not stereotyping my own people here. We have our reasons as a cultural segmentation of society, but understanding the root of the infatuation doesn't make me any less susceptible to it. *plucks more strays*

As I was having these thoughts, I started noticing the crows feet forming ever-so-faintly around my eyes. It's not major and not even anything I have to take out in Photoshop yet, but I saw them. I immediately have a flash back to an episode of Will & Grace when Will goes with Karen to get Botox injections. I giggled at the line "Well Wilma! Does my 'mo' want a little 'bo'?" In turn, I was reminded of a book I bought a couple of weeks back called "Origin of Everyday Things."

The book is fantastic and it is exactly what it claims to be. It gives the origins of everyday things that most people wouldn't wonder about. It gives the TV Guide version of the history of all matter of things I use every day but had no idea from whence or where they came. From crossword puzzles to pacemakers and banks to soap, I'm getting my appetite for knowledge whetted on a wide array of topics. I find that kind of thing fascinating, so I obviously had to have it.

So what about the Botox? Well, I did some research. This Mo will not be getting any 'bo' any time soon! I already knew that Botox was some sort of poison. It's actually called botulinum toxin and is a byproduct of a bacterial pathogen called Clostridium botulinum. This little gem was discovered by a German poet and doctor named Justinus Kerner around 1820. In the late 1700s it had caused a European outbreak of botulism, mostly being passed in the inferior handling of blood sausage. Dr. Kerner worked with his 'sausage poison' extensively and found two very important facts. First, interrupts motor signal transmission in the peripheral and autonomic system. Secondly, it was lethal in small doses. I'd say the latter is the mor important of the two.

Well over a hundred years passed and the research on the substance was in medical uses, not cosmetic. Dr. Kerner himself proposed the toxin being used to treat the hyper secretion of sweat glands, diseases associated with movement disorders and the like. But as with most things, the artists of war started to take notice.

The first attempts at creating a biological weapon were in Germany in World War 1. But no good idea should be left alone so America picked up on the idea after the onset of World War 2. The United States Office of Strategic Services even developed a plan to have small but lethal sized doses packaged in gelatin capsules. These would be used by Chinese prostitutes to assassinate high ranking Japanese officials. The plan was scrubbed after the pills failed to kill stray Chinese donkeys in a trial run.

From war comes medicine and cosmetics. In all of this research, the crude form of botulinum toxin A was cultivated in 1946 and then refined by Dr. Edward Schantz for safe use in humans. However, it was not until 1978 (the year I was born) that it was approved by the FDA for use.

So what is the biotoxin used for now? It is used most notably to treat crossed eyes and the spasms associated with cerebral palsy in children. It can treat migraine headaches, tremors, vocal and even gastronomical disorders. Oh, and people use it to treat when Father Time has run a marathon on their face. I just don't think I could do it knowing the sordid history

Oh, and for a quick answer on why gay culture tends to be so body conscious, it's a psychological reaction to the effects of AIDS in the early 80s. Men did not want to look sick, so they began pumping themselves up to prove their physical status of being well. That ingrained itself into our culture and now nobody remembers why we started. At least it keeps us in shape!

Careful, I'm back on the soapbox ...

I've become very motivated lately to become a better person. I don't know what started it, but I want to make a more positive impact on my community and the world in which I live. I've been looking at different charities and community outreach programs in which I can become involved through work, we've been switching to more green usage of power at home, I'm more conscious of my effect on the world around me, etc. I don't think this is a shift in who I am as a person so much as just a realization of what impact I have and what impact I can make on the lives of others.

So being in that mindset, I've started talking with people about it. I find that by discussing my desire to help other people in various ways, it motivates those with whom I'm involved in conversation to do the same ... at least at that moment *g*. Today I came across my first real challenge to that.

Really, it started as an innocent comment. I was chatting with someone and mentioned that I was mad at Honda for making the Accord Hybrid $31,000 because I want one. This person, a staunch gay republican told me that I'd get a $5,000 tax credit which would make it only $26,000. Still too expensive for me, I thanked him anyway. Then he said something which caught me off guard. He said "you don't need it anyway; car batteries are far more toxic than CO2 emissions and it would take ten years to make up the extra expense in gas savings. And a single volcano eruption puts out more greenhouse gas emissions than humans can do in 100 years."

Now, I'm no expert on global warming and climate data but most of those words said in that order didn't make sense to me. My first question, obviously, was about the money. Typical me. Unfortunately, the tax credit on the model car I desire is only $1,350. Having that bit of disappointing news, I started to pick apart his statements.

I believe the statement that car batteries are toxic, but I think they can be recycled, so I asked about it. As a matter of fact, most car batteries in the US are recycled so the lead in them is not put back into our environment. Ok, I popped another hole in his statement. What else was there?

Oh yeah, the financial savings of a hybrid. Well, he really had me there. According to a report on Edmunds.com, the average cost of a hybrid vehicle compared to it's non-hybrid counterpart increases by about $4,000. Ok, so estimating my average driving at 10,000 miles a year (factoring out all of these trips to Brownsville) and using my average price per gallon of fuel at a conservative $2.75/gallon and then making the calculations based on a non-hybrid vehicle giving me 20 mpg and a hybrid giving me 28 mpg, I deduce that the hybrid would save me $393 per year in fuel costs. Indeed, it would actually take me a decade to recoup the investment in a hybrid.

But it was his next statement that really got me going. Let me revisit it for a moment: "And a single volcano eruption puts out more greenhouse gas emissions than humans can do in 100 years." That simply makes no sense if you look at the data. Yes, volcanic eruptions spew millions of tons of greenhouse gases into our atmosphere with each eruption. But, my point to that is that it is a NATURAL part of our ecology. It has been happening for billions of years because it is SUPPOSED to happen that way. What we as a race are adding to the environment is not natural, and obviously harmful.

According to NASA studies (coincidentally funded by bipartisan commissions) the level of CO2 emissions has been on the rise since 1975, and in that time has risen 15%. There has not been a coincidental 15% rise in volcanic activity in that time frame, so that rise can obviously be attributed to US. His rebuttal was that the human population has increased and therefore livestock has increased as well, which contributes to CO2 levels. I thanked him for making my point ... with each additional person we bring on the planet, we are burning more fuels, driving more cars and putting more into our own atmosphere, which accelerates the climate changes we are seeing.

Then he went off the deep end on me. He said he was a "reformed Liberal wacko" and asked what climate change I was talking about. I pointed to the vast sea of scientific data that pointed out what climate change. I then took that cue to discuss an article I'd read about in last week's Science magazine. It's by a group of climate experts from NASA, the Scripps Institute, and institutes in Germany, Australia, and France.
What they've done is straightforward. First, they graph the increase of CO2 concentration, temperature, and sea level, since 1975. Each increases a bit more strongly than a simple linear rise. Maybe they're rising exponentially, maybe not (more on that later).

The changes might not seem extreme. AS I said before, in thirty years, CO2 concentrations are up fifteen percent, Earth's temperature has risen just under a degree Fahrenheit, and sea level has risen three inches.

The authors also display the most important predictions made back in 1990. It turns out that CO2 concentration has risen pretty much exactly as it was predicted. Global temperatures have risen in line witht he worst case predictions. Our sea level is up twenty five percent beyond the worst case predicted. While some other doomsday predictions were far too high, the climate ones were not.

So climatologists in 1990 were not crying wolf. None of them overestimated what was happening. In fact, it'd be easy to look at this and let ourselves become Chicken Little. One could curve-fit an exponential extrapolation to the data. But extrapolation is no more trustworthy than blindly opposing the opinions of someone of a different political party.

As I point out these changes, my conversational counterpart tells me I'm creating a mountain out of a mole hill. Three inches in the vast amount of ocean water we have is nothing. Going back to my article, I give him more indisputable data and fact (the enemy of commentators of the Fox network).

To gain just an inkling of the complexity, I ask him to consider the rising sea levels. The overall rise reflects the ice-cap melting that we're all seeing (although part of the rise comes from thermal expansion of warming oceans). But that net value is an average of larger local sea level variations. The tectonic plates upon which we live rise and fall relative to one another. Since Louisiana and Texas are dropping, we see the sea level rising sharply. But Alaska is rising, so Alaskans see their sea level dropping. New Orleans might go under while Anchorage remains dry. Fill a 2" baking pan with 1/2" of water and then tilt one end to a five degree angle and watch what happens to the water to get my point.

At this point, my antagonist stopped talking. I don't know if my own ocean of facts and figures scared him off or if he became frustrated at the lack of support he had for his argument; my assumption would be a combination of the two.

All of this makes me wonder; why is our environment a political issue? Literally, we are discussing the survival of our race on this planet. Yet it is being used by both sides to get votes more than to raise awareness or enact any real change. Concern about the well-being or survival of future generations shouldn't associate me with any political persuasion. On the other end of the spectrum, why some people use their political affiliation to bury their head in the sand of ignorance when it comes to how we affect our own future is beyond my comprehension.

In any case, we are faced with climate change and it's hard to doubt that we play a significant role in that change. Nor can one reasonably doubt the importance of reducing consumption, waste and emissions, while we look for better information - while we focus, not on the people we like or dislike, but on the data.

HIstory

I'm still traveling back and forth every week between Corpus Christi and Brownsville. As you might imagine, the drive is less than scenic, so I end up either on the phone or just having alone time to think. That alone time is sometimes spent thinking about work and sometimes spent just thinking about anything that comes to mind.

On this last trip back I started thinking about history and it's relationship to us and our lives. History is so much closer than most of us seem to realize. Some of us are fortunate enough to have grandparents we can ask about the things we can only read about in books. I can watch movies and read books and read about the Kennedy assassination, but I can also ask my grandparents about their thoughts and experiences with it. I don't mind researching things, but the looks and facial expressions and and the tone of voice that can change a story simply from text in a book to an understanding of the place from where we evolved.

It's really is easy to get back to things that seem SO far off in our minds. My grandfathers are both in their 70s. They've experienced so much history in their lives and have a different understanding of things I've only read about in books. But, thinking beyond that, they have heard stories and had shared with them the experiences of THEIR parents, who were probably born in the late 19th, early 20th century. That would mean my grandfather's grandfather was born sometime in the 1860s.

That seems like simple math, but my mind started to put that in historical perspective. I have a great relationship with Paw-Paw and talk to him a lot. He tells me about how things were when he was a kid. If he had those same conversations and relationship with HIS grandfather, we're suddenly talking about a man who was alive during the premier of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. These two generations saw the invention of the automobile and the airplane and then my grandfather spearheaded the development of the space shuttle. Those three generations saw the formation and eventual destruction of the Soviet empire.

There are so many ideas and perspectives that we can find by just talking to people older than us. I want to take more of an opportunity to find out about those kinds of things. Those are the memories and stories that make the world around us and the history which we read about seem that much more tangible. It's also a reminder to pay attention to those things happening around us because we are living the history that our grandchildren and future generations will hopefully be exploring with us someday.

A few things

I've been such a bad blogger lately. No posts forever, when I do post it was just someone else's commentary on something that I liked. Really, I would say I need a time-out but that's part of what makes me a bad blogger in the first place. I guess that means I need a time-in?

Corpus Christi at Last

Well, we're all moved to Corpus Christi. It was fantastically nerve-wracking there toward the end and I was really stressed out at some points. Beyond the stress of managing two centers that are 170 miles apart and living out of a hotel 4 days a week before I moved, there were some other factors.

The person who's job I have taken at Corpus was fighting the fact that they were no longer with the company. This would be fine if I hadn't been foolish enough to make a deposit on a new apartment in Corpus Christi, set up all of my utilities to be turned off in Harlingen and turned on in Corpus, put in my notice to move out in Harlingen, etc. So, for a few days I didn't know if I would have a home or not on May 1. Eventually, it all worked itself out. I've signed the paperwork and will officially be the manager of Corpus Christi on June 1.

That still leaves me traveling back and forth every week between Corpus and Brownsville. In a way, it's actually a good thing. I mean, I'm tired as hell and it's a lot of miles on my car, but good things come of it too. When I'm in the store in Corpus, I'm working lots of hours and really hard just to keep my head above water.

I'm not really making progress very quickly when I'm there, but we're doing better than we were. It's just freakishly busy and I'm always doing task-oriented things instead of managing and creating any real change. I can't really get any of the administrative things done that I need to like payroll corrections, HR changes, setting up interviews for new hires, filing paperwork for new hires, developing training plans and agendas, writing schedules, etc. Just when I think a day is going to go well and that I'll be staffed up enough to get something done, someone calls in sick or something. It's a real pain, but we'll make it through.

In Brownsville, it is a different story. Things run very well and very smoothly. The team is extremely well trained and knows how to take care of any problems that arise and they don't really involve me in them unless someone is hurt, it involves something which requires my approval by policy or a customer specifically wants to speak with me. Because of that, I'm able to get a LOT more done on the back end of things. In fact, on my Thursday and Friday trip to Brownsville this week I was able to get most of the things I needed to get done for Corpus AND Brownsville done in my two day time-span. It was an incredible feeling.

Things will get worse before they get better and I understand that. I'm also in the process of closing down our on-site facility at Texas A&M University - Kingsville, which is quite involved in and of itself. There is SO much more involved in that than I first imagined. And by that, I mean that I have to do way more than I thought I would. To me, that should be an all corporate operation, but whatever. LOL

Beyond that, I'm also our district's Subject Matter Expert on a new product offering called Direct Mail. That means I'll be going to Dallas for three days at the end of this month to take a training class that I will then come back and teach for our district. That will mean two days in Houston and a day in Brownsville the first week of June. I guess I wasn't traveling enough. ;)


Life In General

I've been really tired lately. But, all things considered, a lot happier. I went out to run errands yesterday and was done within an hour. That freaked me out a little because in Harlingen, most errands involved going to Brownsville or McAllen, which means at least an hour of drive time alone. I am gonna like that lack of commute time!

Buddy has started back to work, which is a good thing for many reasons. I know he's going to enjoy making lots of new friends at his new Starbucks. Plus, the money he makes helps too. I think it really gives us more to talk about when he's not calling me 2,347,589 times a day because he's bored at home.

Unfortunately, we missed the party for the 50th wedding anniversary of my maternal grandparents because we were moving. I heard lots of great things about it though and my mother has a bunch of pictures she's going to send me. Oh, funny thing. When I called my grandmother to wish her a happy anniversary, we ended up talking for about an hour (which is very typical with her). In the course of the conversation I told her about the gun shop in the mall in Corpus Christi. Her response was awesome; "Well, it's gotta be somewhere." LOL I laughed so hard at that.

Well, hopefully it won't be so long before my next post. Sorry about the lag, but now that I'm at lease MOVED, things should be easier.

:)

Interesting and Random Thoughts

I subscribe to a really cool podcast called Engines of Our Ingenuity. Like my blog and sleep lately, I haven't been able to keep up with it. Fortunately, on that shitty drive between Corpus Christi and Harlingen, I got to catch up on quite a few. One of them really caught my ear so I found the transcript and thought I'd share it. :)

"The 2000 presidential election between George W. Bush and Al Gore brought to our attention the problems involved with counting votes. Dangling chads notwithstanding, political scientists have long been aware that there are much deeper problems with voting systems; problems so fundamental they leave us scratching our heads and asking what's going on.

Trouble first surfaced during the Enlightenment, as Jean-Charles de Borda and the Marquis de Condorcet debated the merits of different voting schemes. But it was not until 1951 that Nobel laureate Kenneth Arrow fully laid bare a problem that Borda and Condorcet had been struggling with.

Borda advocated letting people rank each candidate with a number, adding the points, and choosing the candidate with the best total score. We could view the method of voting we use today as a special case of Borda's method -- where our favorite candidate re-ceives one point and everyone else receives none.

Condorcet, on the other hand, advocated a vote between every pair of candidates. The candidate that wins in every comparison is elected. The practical problem with Condorcet's method is that it may fail to produce a winner. We see this all the time in athletic competitions. The Astros beat the Reds, the Reds beat the Cubs, and the Cubs beat the Astros. Who's the winner? In voting, this is known as Condorcet's Paradox.

But there's a hidden problem in Borda's method of numerical ranking, too. Imagine Smith and Jones are running for office, we cast our votes, and Smith wins. Now suppose a new candidate enters the election and we vote again. Even if we all feel the same way about Smith and Jones, we may find Jones now wins. This is a very real problem in U.S. elections, and the democratic and republican parties constantly worry about candidates from third parties claiming votes.

The fact that candidates entering or leaving the race can change the order of the remaining candidates is very alarming. If I prefer chocolate ice cream to vanilla, and someone offers me strawberry ice cream, why should I now prefer vanilla to chocolate? Yet this is exactly what can happen with Borda's method. We might ask if there is a voting system -- any system at all -- that doesn't threaten to flip-flop the two candidates, when a third can-didate enters the race. Remarkably, Arrow proved that for any system meeting the most basic standards of common sense, the answer is No.

The implications for voting are stunning. But the impact of Arrow's work on economics and social choice goes far deeper. If we can't combine individual preferences in any reasonable way, can we even talk about society's preferences? If we can't talk about society's preferences, how can we develop economic or social policies and claim they represent what society prefers?

Arrow did more than prove a result that now bears his name. Like many of the best results in science, engineering, and mathe-matics, Arrow's theorem distills a known problem into its most basic pieces, and, in doing so, helps us see the world in a surprising new way."

...and his wish was granted.

Well, we're finally on that horizon of moving. It looks like we'll be out of the Valley as of May 1 and moved to Corpus Christi. On a personal level, we are so excited! I'm looking forward to a new work opportunity and Buddy is ready to get the hell out of the Valley.

At first, Buddy was hesitant about moving to Corpus. Most people here that he's talked to haven't had many nice things to say about it, which influenced his judgment. Eventually he came around and it was based on a few key points. Number one, the people saying negative things about Corpus were also people who liked the Valley. Most of them say negative things about Houston or other places we like to. So, that negative influence was coming from unaccredited sources. Number two, we actually WENT to Corpus and he loved it. Even with the rain, he had a good weekend. Number three, he found out he knows (or will know due to transfer) a couple of people at the Starbucks. That made all the difference in the world for him.

For me, this has been relatively easy to get excited over. It's out of the Valley, it's a new challenge at work, it's three hours closer to home, etc. Corpus is only a couple of hours from San Antonio and three hours from Austin. There are things to DO in Corpus. The people are nicer and more polite. It isn't Toronto or Denver or Seattle or other places we've looked, but it's a great city on it's own.

Work is going to be interesting for a while. I'm currently running the center in Brownsville and the one in Corpus Christi. They're 150 miles apart, so that means that I am driving back and forth each week. 3-4 days in Corpus Christi, 1-2 in Brownsville, weekends at home. We'll see how it works out over the next month but I'm already tired and I've only done it a week. Brownsville is fairly easy to manage but Corpus is a real train wreck right now. There are SO many things that need to be fixed and they're all important. It's difficult to figure out where to start.

I have a staffing issue in both stores right now. I need to hire four people in Corpus Christi and one in Brownsville. One of the main production operators in the morning at Corpus is about to be out for three months. One of the part time people and the Assistant Manager at Brownsville both want to transfer at the beginning of June. Both stores are needing people BEFORE those people leave, not to mention replacements.

I have to get a new team member brought on board and trained from 150 miles away, I've got last minute conference calls being set up to help improve the failing customer service scores in Corpus. I wish I didn't have to get on since I'm currently #11 in the company in Brownsville, but it is what it is. I found out I have to go to Dallas for a day long training class on the Sign & Graphic department I inherited with Corpus Christi. That will be beneficial, but with all the stress I've got right now, flying to Dallas at 5am and back to Corpus at 10pm in the same day will be ugly. But once again, it is what it is.

Eventually, all of this will pay off in a big way for me. I just have to make it through this rough patch. The scary thing is, all of this is happening now and as I've said, I've only been on the job there for less than a full week. What will happen over the next three - four weeks?

Wow ... I mean ... just ... wow. Welcome to Texas.

Husband kills wife's lover; wife charged

POSTED: 6:45 p.m. EDT, March 30, 2007

Story Highlights

• Caught with lover, wife cries rape; husband shoots fleeing man
• Grand jury charges woman with manslaughter
• Texas law exonerates those who believe actions are justified at time
• Wife also charged with making false report to police

Adjust font size:

ARLINGTON, Texas (AP) -- Darrell Roberson came home from a card game late one night to find his wife rolling around with another man in a pickup truck in the driveway.

Caught in the act with her lover, Tracy Denise Roberson -- thinking quickly, if not clearly -- cried rape, authorities say. Her husband pulled a gun and killed the other man with a shot to the head.

On Thursday, a grand jury handed up a manslaughter indictment -- against the wife, not the husband.

The grand jury declined to charge the husband with murder, the charge on which he was arrested by police.

"If I found somebody with my wife or with my kids in my house, there's no telling what I might do," said Juan Muniz, 33, who was having lunch Friday with one of his two small children at a restaurant in the middle-class suburban Dallas neighborhood where the Robersons lived. "I probably would have done the same thing."

Tracy Roberson, 35, could get two to 20 years in prison in the slaying of Devin LaSalle, a 32-year-old UPS employee.

Assistant District Attorney Sean Colston declined to comment on specifics of the case or the grand jury proceedings but said Texas law allows a defendant to claim justification if he has "a reasonable belief that his actions are necessary, even though what they believe at the time turns out not to be true."

Mark Osler, a Baylor University law school professor and a former federal prosecutor, said the grand jurors evidently put themselves in the husband's place: "I can see one of them saying, 'I would have shot the guy, too. I was just protecting my wife.' "

The December night before the shooting, Tracy Roberson sent LaSalle a text message that read in part, "Hi friend, come see me please! I need to feel your warm embrace!" according to court papers. LaSalle apparently agreed.

Darrell Roberson, a 38-year-old employee of a real estate firm, discovered the two, his wife clad in a robe and underwear.

When Tracy Roberson cried that she was being raped, LaSalle tried to drive away and her husband drew the gun he happened to be carrying and fired several shots at the truck, authorities said.

Darrell Roberson's attorney did not immediately return a call for comment.

His wife also was charged with making a false report to a police officer -- for allegedly saying she was raped -- and could get up to six months behind bars on that offense. It was not immediately clear whether she had a lawyer.

She had not been arrested as of Friday afternoon.

Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

Yea!

Buddy and I are taking a trip to Corpus Christi today. I'm pretty sure we're moving soon and we want to go check out the city. We got a cheap hotel room but we're only going to stay tonight. We want to get an idea of what there is to do there, look at a few apartments and houses and get an overall idea of the livability of the city. We're both excited! It's nice to know we're ALMOST out of the Valley. Just a few more weeks and it's "Hasta La Bye-Bye".

Oh, and I haven't been blogging much because, well, I'm dumb. We had a fantastic trip to Toronto earlier this month and I'll talk all about it when I feel like I have more time. In all honesty, I have plenty of time now, I'm just lazy. Maybe I'll make Buddy drive to Corpus and work on it in the car. *grin*

Ok, bye :)

To publish or not to publish ...

I've been wondering about taking this to another place by recording myself reading my blog and posting it (or rather a link to it) on here. I don't know why I would do that, I think it just might be fun. I mean, what some people say is true; I love the sound of my own voice.

I'm trying to figure out where I would upload and store the files to link them on here. So far I've found a few places I could do it for free, but the storage space is limited. I could pay a few bucks a month but I'm not sure if I'm that committed to doing this yet. Maybe we'll see after we lower our cell phone bill and stop with the gym, which is on the agenda after Toronto.

The other issue I have is that I write and speak in two distinctively different voices. I can say all the words I write, but they don't necessarily sound natural coming out of my mouth. That will actually take more conscious effort than I think it will. As it stands, I think I have some sort of filter that amplifies my vocabulary when it is published by my fingers and somehow shuts off when I'm using my mouth. Maybe it is because speech happens so much faster than typing so I have those extra few milliseconds to generate a better word. Or maybe I'm full of crap and know nothing about what I'm saying. Either way, I have to change how I write. Or maybe I'll change the way I speak? I'm not sure.

Perhaps it isn't too late to get into voice over work someday. I know I need practice in reading copy and adding personality to it. I've talked about and explored doing it before but I had seemingly given up on it. Well, I didn't. I think technology and the accessibility of software (like what came on Buddy's Mac) makes the idea more realistic. I need to do more research and study though. I'll have to start some self-education on mixing and self-starting. I'm not quitting my job or anything silly like that, but it is something I can look at for the future.

I have SO many things I want to do. I'm sure it seems erratic to someone looking in. In my own mind, it's the same themes that keep resurfacing. I want to learn languages, I want to read books, I want to learn to play the piano, I want to be fantastically successful with my job, I want to have a healthy body, I want to make money with my voice ... I really wish I could either give up sleep or add to the number of hours in a day! Well, here's to trying it all. :)

I don't get it ...

I work for a publicly traded company ... a big one. Part of that is accountability and standards thereof. The way we choose to measure our own accountability toward goals that our investors and shareholders like to see is by means of internal audits. We audit our own stores twice a quarter, and my boss comes in and audits us once a quarter. We have an internal audit committee who audits entire districts randomly each year.

Today my boss performed the audit on my store. The minimum passing standard this month is 85%, with the new goal of next month being 90%. We did well enough to get a 90.7% today, which is a real relief for me. I missed stupid shit, which bothers me. By stupid stuff I mean a signature on a piece of paper, the original receipt in a refund ... stupid shit. I'll have it corrected before next time.

What I DON'T get is people who don't even TRY for things like that. After my audit I went to assist with another one nearby. Now, these were not surprise audits. My boss told us much earlier in the month WHEN he would be here, and we know he comes the 3rd quarter of every month anyway. So why then would someone not even CLEAN for an audit. It's the first question on the damn thing. I just don't get it. To me, that is disrespectful AND self destructive.

I look at my boss' visits, whether he is performing an audit or not, as a guest coming over. When I have guests at my apartment, I clean. Whether it is my mother or friends or neighbors, we clean. I mean, that's common courtesy. That is ESPECIALLY true when you KNOW the person who is coming has a higher level of expectation than that to which you hold yourself. How is that not just giving your guest the finger?


My mother doesn't expect me to clean for her, but I know she appreciates cleanliness, so I do a lot of it. Ok, so maybe I'm a clean person and I do it just as much for me, but that doesn't matter. I'd do it even if I wasn't. It's about respecting the person who is visiting.

I don't know why it bothers me so much. Maybe it's because I have higher expectations for cleanliness than my boss and I had to wallow in that filth today. But to me, if an audit is happening I think you should do what it takes to be the very best. Yes, I made stupid mistakes, but I'm going to correct them. Is the cleanliness portion of the next audit going to be taken care of? Probably not. That bothers me.

In a recent interview, I was asked what my motivation was to succeed in business and what it would be to succeed in that new position. I kinda stumbled on that. I really don't know what my motivation to succeed is because I can't imagine not trying to succeed. I mean, what else would someone want to do other than succeed? I don't get it. I guess my motivation to succeed is the sheer thought of NOT succeeding.

That isn't to say that I'm successful in everything I do in my job, but I think the question is based on overall success. I think I can claim I am a success thus far. Did I score a 100 on my audit? No. But, when many people set their goal at passing, I set mine at perfect. I think that attributes to my success.

If one is going to do something, they should want to do it well or better than anyone else. That is the kind of drive that pushes societies higher, careers farther, elevates quality of life and just helps add meaning to life. Or at least that's what I think.

Ummm, yeah.

I have been so boring and blah and just overall uninspired lately, it's frustrating. I haven't felt like writing or talking or doing anything.

I've not been reading and studying. I've not been social. Okay, well I am not social down here very often, so that's not much of a change, but it still bothers me.

I've gone to work, the gym and home. I've gone to Starbucks and the bank and the grocery store. That is is life right now.

I've organized some pictures, I've got new pictures for the wall, I've talked on the phone. But how interesting is it all?

I've had things that I have thought "oh, I should blog about that" but then my boredom with my own daily life sucks the enthusiasm from whatever piqued my interest.

I'm in a rut and I need to get out.

*Yawn*

Finally, I woke up this morning with the urge to write something. Granted, it's not anything profound or interesting, but it sure beats not feeling motivated to write anything at all. I may very well be the only person reading what I write, but I'm not really concerned with that.

I'm usually emotionally provoked into blogging. Be the motivation good or bad, I usually don't write out of boredom. I think that's been my problem over the last week or so, actually. I'm just bored. I don't derive a lot of pleasure out of work lately with the exception of the leadership training I'm providing my team. I go to the gym and come home and study my Russian. I mean, it's interesting and all but I can only blog about losing weight and Russian words so many times before I start to crave other things to discuss.

Today will be a bit different. I have to fly to Houston tonight for a meeting tomorrow. I'll get to stay with Granny & Paw-Paw, which is always good. I like getting to see them once every month or so. I also got a call from the senior recruiter in Austin in reference to the application I put in almost two weeks ago. There is a position there for which I've applied and I'm going to have an interview next week. I'm actually a little worried about that position. It's not so much about whether or not I will get it as it is what I will do if I DO get it. I'll get into that on another post.

Anyway, I need to take a shower and pack my overnight stuff and all that jazz. I had a dream that I forgot my luggage and had to buy all new clothes when I got to Houston. Maybe that was a fantasy. ;)

Englussiarenchgermitallianish

My Russian studies are taking me slightly longer than I was originally intending, but with good reason. I really want to be able to understand the language. Now, I'm neither wanting to be able to write professionally in Russian, nor do I wish to carry on technical conversations that involve detailed vocabulary particular to a specific trade. However, I would like to have a true understanding of the words I learn.

If someone were to approach me on the street and say "excuse me young man, what is your name?" I would know exactly what they meant. Most people who learn a second language have to translate in their head. The same query in Russian would be "Извините молодой человек, чем Вас называют?" I don't want to be going in my mind "ok, 'Извините' is excuse me. 'молодой человек' is young man. 'Excuse me young man.' Ok, got it. 'чем' ..." If I were to do that it would take forever and the Russian asking my identity might think I rode the short bus to Москва (Moscow).

So, that's what I'm doing in the evening. I will say that with the increased speed at which I can read Cyrillic, my progress is moving faster and faster. I've been neglecting my cultural reading and studies though because I find myself hungry for more language study. It's nice to have found something to capture my interest and keep me from thinking about work. To take this to it's logical conclusion, if I accomplish my goal of fluently understanding basic conversation in 6-7 languages I might end up combining all of them to speak Englussiarenchgermitallianish.

Happy Birthday to Me!

We had a good time this weekend. Like most of her visits, Mom's trip seemed too short-lived. I always try to mix up her visit with two distinct days. Friday night is typically used for catching up. Saturday is used to go out and about, usually to Brownsville, McAllen or South Padre Island. Sunday we try to do nothing. Mom's schedule is more hectic than mine, so her ability to sit and do nothing is rare. I like to offer her the chance to do that on her visits. I know she appreciates it.

Saturday was my birthday. As my sister reminded me when she called (a day late), I'm only one year from thirty! That's okay, I'll get over it. The last year of my twenties will hopefully be eventful.

I liked the fact that I got to spend my birthday with my mother. We haven't been able to do that in YEARS. It was a great present. Buddy made me a fantastic breakfast! He made avocado scrambled eggs and French Toast. He was trying different ways of making the two common dishes. He did VERY well. We then went to McAllen to mill about for the day.

I got a couple of books at Barnes & Noble. He got another Toronto travel guide for our trip. With Paw-Paw's extension of the vacation to 10 days, we should be quite armed with things to do. We might even teach Anthony and Kim some things about their city. Mom also got an arm-full of books that she bought. Maybe that's where I get my late-bloomed love of reading.

We then took a turn to Bed, Bath & Beyond. Mom gave me a choice of either a check or buying the check's dollar amount worth of gifts all day. I chose the latter, but didn't use the money on the books! Everything was spent at BB&B. I got a wicker basket for Buddy and I to put our things (laptops, cases, etc.) in when we're home so they don't sit out on the floor. I got those nifty Dream Drawer organizing tools, some Hercules Hooks, two photo albums for keeping some of our photos out on the coffee table, two frames for pictures of my trip to Europe and four different boxes for organizing the rest of our photos that don't end up on walls or in albums. I was truly happy with that trip.

Finally, we ended up going to Texas Roadhouse for dinner. The wait was forty five minutes, which was fine since we had thirteen fist-fulls of peanuts each. We all had a great dinner, and despite my warning not to, Buddy told them it was my birthday. I had to get on a saddle. A saddle. Me, on a saddle. My mother took a picture on her camera phone. I'm going to find THE most embarrassing place to have a birthday for Buddy next year and go there ... and for good measure, I might do that sometime next month too.


Anywho, after we got home I went crazy hanging up picture frames, moving picture frames, measuring for a new 18x24 of Big Ben, etc. Actually, I have to decide which picture I want to enlarge. It will either be a photo of Big Ben or an AWESOME picture I took in Belgium of the sun setting over the English Channel. The Big Ben pic would be unmistakably Europe, but the sunset picture is so cool. I'll figure it out, I guess. But, I had a lot of fun doing all of that yesterday.

It was a great weekend. :) Now I'm SUPER ready for Toronto!

I'm a big dummy ...

"Shut up, 'ya big dummy." I'm having flashbacks to Sanford & Son. Awwww, good 'ole paternal verbal abuse. :)

But really, I am a big dummy. We've done this beautiful collage of pictures on our wall from vacations we took this year. I've been wanting to have more pictures on the walls of various types. For example, we're going to put up quite a few pics from our trip to Toronto this March.

I've been thinking about some other things to put up. I have so many pictures from my past, but I've been a bit bewildered about what to frame for display. On a recent customer visit, I recalled seeing a TexMex cafe when I was in Belgium. The customer and I had a fantastic laugh and then it hit me! Pictures from Europe do me NO good in a box in my closet, I should have them on display! So, I've got two half walls in my apartment in need of some memories.

Of course, the hard part is going to be picking which ones!

Boundless laziness

The human capacity for laziness is amazing. Isn't it? Really. We are inherently lazy in ways over which we have direct and indirect control. It's the people who rise above that laziness which we tend to admire ... usually while sitting on the couch holding our favorite ultra-fattening beverage.

Think about it, we start off at a physiological disadvantage, don't we? If someone goes to the gym and works and works and works and builds layer upon layer of undeniably hot muscle, we admire that person, don't we? Do we all go out and do the same? Generally not. But, think about that same person if they were to stop going to the gym? Even if it was an involuntary stoppage, what happens to their beautiful muscles? Natural laziness; the muscle deflates, the blood goes other places and the strength is eventually lost as fat starts to fill in the vacated space. Is it because the person wants that? No, s/he can't help it, that is just how it works.

Mentally it is the same way. I was a music major in college. I spent a very large portion of my life-to-date studying and immersing myself in music. I forged millions of neural pathways in the practice rooms, in the books, etc. Seven years later, after not studying for so long, would I be able to do/remember all of those things? No. Okay, maybe some of it, but definitely not all. Why? Because the body is lazy. I would have to jumpstart those neurons to get them pumping again.

And then there is the conscious laziness. It is the worst of all, and manifests itself in the most annoying ways. Apathy over where the trash lands, inconsiderate placement of the grocery shopping cart when one is only twenty feet from the cart return bin, endless hours of television and games ... all of those things are leading indicators of our expanding waistlines and vanishing cultural uniqueness.

I had a moment of laziness yesterday, but I caught it in time. It was habitual more than anything else. When I got to the gym parking lot yesterday evening it was a little packed. I saw two people leaving, both of whom were walking to cars fairly close to the door. I was excited about close parking! So, these two apparent buddies started talking next to their cars. I was a little annoyed because I wanted to get inside, so I turned on my blinker to signal they should expedite their conversation. Of course, they didn't. At the same moment that I started becoming very annoyed, it hit me; I'm at the GYM to WORK OUT and am now angry because I can't park close to the door. Really? So, I laughed at myself as I backed up the car, parked really far away and hiked that extra 200 feet to go in.

A motley collection of thoughts ...

There is no reason for today's post. I'm just reaching into the soupy cauldron of thought which is my mind and discussing what I find.

Buddy - I chose not to sit at home to play out my weekend morning ritual (coffee, reading and the internet) but instead chose to shower early and go up to Starbucks since Buddy was working. I ground up the portion of coffee I wanted to drink this morning, packed it in the French press, grabbed a coffee mug, my laptop, a book and went on my way. While I was there reading, Buddy took his lunch (he got to work at 5:30, so his lunch was at 10). I said all of that to say this: One of Buddy's abilities which never ceases to amaze me is that of being able to sleep anywhere.

We were in one of the lovely, large comfy, "it hugs me when I sit in it" chairs at Starbucks and he said "wake me up in 15 minutes." Before my brain could process what he meant, he'd removed his glasses and fallen asleep. The music was playing, the espresso machines were foaming, customers were talking, and he was oblivious to all of it. He's like a puppy. Last week he got down on the floor to cuddle with Chloe and accidentally fell asleep. A couple of times I know of, he's sat down in the shower and fallen asleep. Really? Seriously? I think somewhere in his brain is a neuron which acts as a snooze button. Honestly, I wish I had one.

Говорение по-русски (Ga-va-ryen-EE-ye po-russkee) - "speaking Russian": It is becoming increasingly apparent that I chose a fantastic starting point for my linguistic adventures. The language itself has very similar attributes to other languages. For example, gender specific nouns affect adjectives and other words associated with them. While not popular in English, it is a common practice in other romantic languages.

Russian is also sprinkled with cognates, or words which are borrowed from another language and adapted for itself. An example of an English/Russian cognate is Парашют (pah-ra-SHYOOT) - parachute. But, English isn't the only language from which Russians have borrowed. A Spanish/Russian cognate would be Библиотека (beeb-lee-oh-teh-ka) - biblioteca (library). So not only are there words which will help me in other languages, but linguistic concepts that will help as well.

Finally, the Cyrillic alphabet in and of itself has been a bona fide mental triathlon. I predict it will make reading French that much easier when Buddy and I take that up around January of 2008. As I started Russian in November it will get the longest amount of study so I can juxtapose each new cultural endeavor with a calendar New Year.

Toronto Vacation - Mandy has her passport, Buddy's is on the way and round-trip ticket prices for direct flights via Continental just plummeted to $271! What a fantastic coincidence! I sent Paw-Paw the e-mail this morning asking for the tickets for Mandy, Buddy and I for our Christmas/birthday presents. March is still a month off but my excitement is growing. I think the trip will be brilliant. Buddy has armed himself with a tourist book of the city so we can list the places we want to see and experience while we're there. Toronto has been much warmer this winter (global warming and all), so I am hoping that it will be more spring-like during this trip. That will afford us more time outside. Having a digital camera with a much higher number of mega-pixels will also allow better quality pictures. I'd like to add another 18x24 and assortment of smaller pictures to the living room. I'm excited. :)

Mom's Visit - My mother is coming to visit next weekend and I'm excited. She treks down here twice yearly for a weekend with us, and her first trip of 2007 will be for my birthday. It's always a fantastic way to break up the monotony of our weekend lives as well as a lot of quality time with Mom. Honestly, we see her more with those trips here than we did when we lived in Houston. We're going to make her a deal ... she buys dinner Saturday and Sunday and Buddy will make fantastic meals for dinner Friday and breakfast Saturday & Sunday. If you ask me, she's getting the better end of the deal. *grin*

Last Night's Dinner - Buddy did REALLY well. I have horded away two years worth of recipies from Martha Stewart Living. They are all at my store awaiting lamination and collecting dust. Thankfully, I remembered them yesterday when Buddy asked what I'd like him to make for dinner. So, we had baked chicken with onions and garlic, lemon and caper mashed potatoes and rice pilaf. The chicken was SO moist and flavorful and the rice pilaf (made with fresh angel hair pasta) was also wonderful, but the lemon an caper mashed potatoes REALLY floored me! The light, flowery texture of the lemons and capers combined with the creamy texture of the mashed potatoes was intoxicating. We were both wowed by that meal. We can't, however, make a habit of it. While it is cheaper to cook that at home than eat it out (and it WAS restaurant quality), it was still relatively expensive as far as meals at home go. But, it is a great Friday night meal ... and Saturday lunch.

Speaking of Saturday lunch, I'm hungry now. Time for chicken and rice.

Wants and needs

When I was growing up I would tell my mother I needed something. "I need that toy" or "I need that dog" or "I need to go to Sea World." Her typical response would be to ask a very simple question: Do you need it or do you want it? Well, I was a child, so in my mind it was all need; how would I go on without the toy, dog, Shamu, etc.? Those types of situations taught me a lesson though about wants and needs. Wants typically resolve a superficial or materialistic urge whereas needs are necessities for survival.

Now, as a supposed adult, I find myself wondering about my wants and needs this morning. Once again I'm faced with the possibility of not having the money to do some of the things we want to do so I'm having this same internal conversation with myself. But this time it's a bit more broad.

I find myself craving more down time from my chores. I view work as a chore right now. I view working out as a chore right now. I have to do both as they are both needs. I need to work because I need money. Working out may not sound like a need at first, but when you think of the physical ramifications on my future self if I choose not to stay in shape, you understand why it is in the need category.

But work as a chore? I have enjoyed my job and not thought of it as a chore for quite some time. I think it usually happens when I get bored. I have been bored lately. When I'm at work, it all seems so routine. I shocked my routine a little bit yesterday with some organizational enhancements at work. I went crazy with my label maker. *g* I'm preparing for meetings, I'm working on development plans for my team members, etc. I ordered three copies of a great management book I read when in our leadership development program and I'm going to use it to teach my assistant manager and senior project coordinator those great management lessons and philosophies now as opposed to making them wait to learn those lessons later. But, really, the challenge of doing my job is dwindling. Sure, I have an audit that I need to do well on when I perform it Friday, but I think we'll be fine. My sales aren't where they need to be at the moment but sales are out of my hand so all I can worry about is customer service, and my customer service levels this month are over 99.6%.

When I'm at work I find myself wishing I was doing something else. I want to be reading, I want to be studying, I want to be listening to music, I want to be doing ... well ... other stuff. I don't think that's a bad thing because when I can satisfy those wants, I'm making myself a more well-rounded person. I'm just concerned that this is just the sapling of a huge oak of disenchantment in my job if I don't get moved or challenged more soon.

So are all these things I wish I were doing outside of work wants or needs? Do I want to do them because I'm bored or do I NEED to be doing them to keep my mind occupied and maintain my sanity? I guess I haven't figured that part out yet. Oh well, off to work. :)

Musical giggles

I don't know why, but I've had the first movement of Beethoven's 7th symphony stuck in my head since I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. I know, it doesn't seem like a good "pee theme", but it was for me this morning. Odd you say? Perhaps. I haven't listened to it in quite some time. Besides the 5th, the 7th is my favorite. Okay, that is a difficult statement to make since I like all of them so much. We studied them so much in college that have very distinct memories brought back by almost all of them. It's a very happy piece that makes me kinda giggly. It's like my musical interpretation of Buddy. :)

Speaking of Buddy, he's been cooking a lot lately. He made dinner for us the last few nights in a row, and I could really get used to this! I like when he works mornings. Not only do I get to see him more, he can do things like cook for me. *grin* Tonight we're either having seafood gumbo or grilled salmon in a lemon caper sauce flanked by bacon-wrapped asparagus and steamed cauliflower. He's been on a seafood kick lately. We don't have many good restaurants down here for that (not less than 40 minutes away), so he has decided to make his own.

Pangs of Guilt

I had an odd but alarmingly realistic dream last night. Ok, it wasn't THAT realistic because there is no way what happened in my dream would be happening in actuality, but nobody was wearing giant purple hats or had crazy Bozo-hair, as is the case with many of my dreams.

I know why I had a dream about this person, it is fairly obvious. It was brought on by thinking about him more lately because of a personal endeavor. It was also a manifestation of my feelings for guilt surrounding our relationship in the past as it were. What I don't understand is why those feelings surface now?

All of this Russian speak and study has me thinking about Glenn a lot. I've always thought back on Glenn with great affection. He was my favorite college roommate and I lived with him and Evan for a year. It was a great time for me, but now that I think back on it, I don't know if it was for him. I really was an awful roommate!

I paid my rent and all, but I was so inconsiderate. I had strange boys over and drank at all hours of the night ... but hey, it was college. I also wasn't very considerate of his space and belongings. I got a brand new dog and left this untrained puppy with him to deal with while I went to Europe for two weeks. Granted, we had a long talk about that, but how could I have been so inconsiderate as to think that was ok in the first place? There were just so many things I did like that. I honestly don't know how he put up with me, but he did.

Honestly, Glenn taught me a lot about being responsible and considerate. He is so very intelligent and I have a tremendous amount of respect for him. Glenn seems to know something about everything. He was on the HRC bandwagon before most other gay folk I knew had any idea what it was. He had lived in London as a welder. He's been just about everywhere one could think of and had great stories to tell about all of the places. He took the opportunity to educate himself on things most people don't; music, art, books and cultural lessons were all points of interest of his. I had a fantastic opportunity to learn a tremendous amount more from him, but I squandered it in my youth.

In my dream, both Glenn and I were at a party of some kind. I asked him into a back room and we started discussing the past and I just started apologizing. I put myself in his position and started listing the things that, had someone done them to me I would have beaten them senseless. My alarm went off before I could finish such a list.

Glenn and I would probably get along much better now than we did then. I would probably appreciate him a lot more now than I did then, which is a travesty in itself. He is a school teacher in New York now, and I don't know if our paths will ever cross in person again, but I really hope so. It is funny ... I don't miss so much what we did have but more what we SHOULD have had in our friendship.

...

I had fun this last week. I was in Corpus giving a helping hand to take some actions to start that particular store back on the right track. It was a task given to me by my boss and I appreciate it. I think he wanted to see what I would see. I saw a lot. In typical "me" fashion, my end-of-week wrap-up was five pages long ... single spaced. But, I think I got things set on the right path and had a lot of ideas on how to develop continued improvements. We'll see how it pans out.

A week away in a store with a LOT of problems put some things in perspective for me. I was instantly reminded of how far my store has come and how much better (and better off) my team is than others. I'm going to make sure I tell them that in our meeting on Sunday. I was at the Corpus store 10-12 hours a day scheming, planning, cleaning, moving fixtures, talking to the team, giving ideas, suggestions, etc. That was a lot of work. Corpus has a good team, but mine really rocks!

So, this weekend is all about relaxation and reading and whatnot. I have done a lot of reading (русский of course) and spent some time with Buddy when he wasn't at work. We watched the first DVD of season 4 of Family Guy last night. I love that show. :)

Ok, that's it. Unimaginative posting today. Sorry

Здравствуйте друзья!

That is Russian for "Hello Friends!" Hooray for Canadians! I was reading an article this morning that showed that researchers in Toronto found that bilingual people have a delayed onset of dementia of up to 4 years. I think that's well timed with my efforts to delve back into the cultural and linguistic studies that I started before Peak.

I knew that I was getting out of the learning that I've invested so much time and financial resources in, but I think that there are going to be those times of the year when exceptions are made. I enjoy this process of learning a new language. It isn't something that seems to come easily to me, so I enjoy having to think and concentrate on it. Also, language is something where you can tell immediate progress. If you start listening to native speakers and you find yourself able to understand more and more of what they are saying, there is a certain sense of accomplishment.

So yesterday, Buddy and I decided that after I go through my Russian indulgence for a year, we're going to move on to French. Number one, it will be very easy to find people with whom to practice our new language; Kim and Liberty both immediately came to mind. Also, I love me some French music. Impressionism is one of my favorite things ever, both in art and music. Plus, Buddy had two years of French in high school so there will probably be a lot of things coming back to him. It will be fun to do it together.

But for now, I'm focusing on my Russian. On language I have two books, two audio books and a podcast to which I subscribe. On culture, I have a book that is sort of a "hit you over the head with facts" book. I also have a book that is really a historical essay that uses the past to explain the foundations of Russian culture. I really like it. Another book like that is a bit of a hybrid between the two. Finally, I have a book about the history of Russian music.

Obviously I'm not reading all of them at once. I am using all the language books together, however. The podcast and audiobooks are great for proper pronunciation, while one of the books is great for daily conversation and the other has more formal grammatical rules. It's a great approach for me.

Yea for brain usage!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY!

Today is Buddy's birthday! I was nice and decided tho choose one of his flattering pictures. ;) I took this during breakfast at the poolside restaurant at Bellagio in July.

I prefer the music ...

My alarm went off this morning and I was not a happy camper. Well, considering I don't like camping, I'd never actually be a happy camper, but that's beside the point. Typically around 6am my alarm goes off sounding the opening chords of the Mozart Requiem. It's a gentle, rolling awake that doesn't startle me too much. Startling me in the morning is bad. Startling me gets my day started on the wrong foot because my preferred foot is kicking who/whatever startled me.

At 5am, I was awakened to the sounds of Chloe getting sick to her stomach. She was kind enough to do it so that her mess was 3/4 of the way in the bathroom and on a tile floor. She's a very considerate puppy. But, I still had to get the paper towels and the Oxy Clean and regular towels and rags and get to work. I think this is somehow my fault ... yesterday morning I told myself that I should wake up earlier so I can have an earlier start to my day at work. I'm going to try to start leaving later by getting there earlier; at least that is my plan as I have it now. Reality will be that I'll get to work earlier and leave at the same time, thus increasing the length of my day by an hour. Oh well.

I put up an older picture of Chloe because I realized I don't have a newer one. I think Buddy has taken all the new pics on his camera phone and I don't have them. I'll have to change that. She's such a pretty dog ... even with only one eye now. :) One of the cutest things I have EVER seen is when Chloe is laying on the recliner with Buddy staring at him as he sings "You Are My Sunshine" to her.

iLust

Since Christmas, since I saw that Apple had an empty PDA section on their website, I've been saying that they are going to revolutionize the PDA industry. But, Apple being Apple, they decided to go a different direction: they are going to revolutionize the cell phone industry. They announced yesterday that they are launching the iPhone ... and I WANT ONE! I'm a dork though ... Buddy and I stayed up until almost midnight watching Steve Jobs' keynote speech introducing this product at MacWorld 2007. The phones won't be available until June, but this thing looks HOT. You can read more about the all new Hotness at: http://www.apple.com/iphone/

Why are you so good to me?

My secret lover ... my morning ritual. Twenty ounces of your steaming black hotness and I'm satisfied all day. You awaken my senses. You brighten my mind. You lure me in with your seductive smell and then you've got me.

Da Scoots ...

Scoot recently had surgery for stones in her bladder. After she had breakfast this morning she started shivering because she was laying on the tile. She had her tummy shaved for the surgery, so she was really cold. I got Chloe's bed and put it on the floor and wrapped her in a blanket so she could get warm. She looked so cute I took a picture. :)

Can someone get my soapbox?

Yesterday I received an e-mail from an online buddy of mine that I've been talking to for quite some time now. HE received an e-mail from an online buddy of HIS who lives in Denver. He sent the e-mail out to see what kind of reaction it would garner. I was passionate enough about it to decide to make it a discussion point with you, my BILLIONS of non-readers. The e-mail is as follows:

WEATHER BULLETIN

Up here, in the "Mile-Hi City" (Denver), we just recovered from a historic event---may I even say a "Weather Event" of "Biblical Proportions"--with a historic blizzard with up to 44" of snow and winds to 90 MPH that broke trees in half, knocked down utility poles, stranded hundreds of motorists in lethal snow banks, closed ALL roads, isolated scores of communities and cut power to 10's of thousands.

FYI:
-George Bush did not come
-FEMA did nothing
-No one howled for the government
-No one blamed the government
-No one even uttered an expletive on TV
-Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton did not visit
-Our mayor did not blame Bush or anyone else
-Our governor did not blame Bush or anyone else either.

CNN, ABC, CBS, FOX or NBC did not visit or report extensively on this category 5 snowstorm, nor do we expect they will in the years to come in the aftermath.

Nobody demanded $2,000 debit cards. No one asked FEMA for a trailer house. No one looted. Nobody - I mean Nobody demanded the government do something. Nobody expected the government to do anything either.

No Larry King, no Bill O'Riley, no Oprah, no Chris Matthews, and no Geraldo Rivera. No Sean Penn (thank God!), no Barbra Streisand, no HOLLYWOOD TYPES TO BE FOUND.

Nope, we just melted the snow for water. Sent out caravans of SUVs to pluck people out of snow engulfed cars. The truck drivers pulled people out of snow banks and didn't ask for a penny. Local restaurants made food and the police and fire department delivered it to snowbound families. Families took in the stranded people-total strangers.

We fired up wood stoves, broke out coal oil lanterns or Coleman lanterns. We put on extra layers of clothes because up here it's "Work or Die". We did not wait for some affirmative action government to get us out of a mess created by being immobilized by a welfare program that trades votes for "sittin' at home" checks. Even though a category "5" blizzard of this scale has never fallen this early, we know it can happen and how to deal with it ourselves.

"In my many travels, I have noticed that once one gets north of about 48 degrees North Latitude, 90% of the world's social problems evaporate." It does seem that way, at least to me. I hope this gets passed on.

Maybe SOME people will get the message. The world does not owe you a living.

ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE UNIQUE; JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

I think the first obvious reaction is that there is NO way to compare the destruction and chaos of New Orleans the days following Katrina to what just happened in Denver. Seriously, how could you? Comparing the situation in Denver to what happened on the Gulf Coast is like comparing a campfire to a 5 alarm blazing building, don't you think?

And since when is it so devious that the country leaps into action to help those in need? Does the author feel we wasted time, energy and money helping the victims of the Indian Ocean Tsunami when it occurred? Truly, if any part of the world has a "work or die" attitude it must be that one; you will quite literally die if you don't work. What if a Richter 9 earthquake were to hit and level San Francisco? Should our "affirmative action government" just let them deal with it?

But that isn't all the writer was trying to discuss. I also see a social commentary on the people of the area that was hit. It was a blatant attack on "them." Who are "they?" Well, considering New Orleans has a very high black population, I might say that group is the target. But really, this goes to generalizations and stereotyping. You could type "_____ population" and there would be people who would insert any race they wanted. Some people would insert EVERY race except their own.

Those are very small-minded and inexperienced people. How can you say "black people" in that kind of context? Do the blacks in Germany, France, Hungary, England, Canada, Japan, Russia, etc. all act the same way? No. Neither do the whites.

Now, if you want to say that certain people of a like mindset in a certain area tend to act the same, that seems to be fine. After all, birds of a feather do indeed tend to flock together. So if there are segments of our society that tend toward a feeling of self-entitlement, they are just that: segments of OUR society. Yes, there ARE lazy people who will use the system to their advantage. No, they are not of a specific race.

What do we do about those people? Well, it comes with upbringing. If a person is taught that they should expect something from the government because they have greater pigmentation of the skin than other people then they will grow up believing that. It all comes with education of children. Do we treat all those children the same way? Are we doing what we can to lift the living condition of those people? I'd say not.

If we want to raise the standard of society, we must start with how we treat and educate the children because they are the foundation of the future. Think of society like a VERY heavy sack of groceries. Would you just yank up by the handles on the bag and hope for the best or would you bend over, grab from the bottom and lift carefully? Personally, I'd do the latter as to prevent myself from spending extra time picking up what spills out and extra money replacing it.

Bill Gates spends a lot of his money on the education of children and funding programs to do such. Oprah Winfrey just spent $40M on building a school in South Africa to do the same thing. They have the right idea, in my opinion. I recently listened to a story on NPR about a program in Brazil that establishes learning centers for classical music in the most downtrodden and poor areas of the country. The goal is to take children off the street from an early age and put them into learning something that will engage them and teach them about the world. It has 250,000 participants. We have similar programs through the Boys & Girls clubs, YMCA, etcetera, but we could always use more.

If everyone in North America who made over $1M a year gave 1% of $1M ($10,000) toward educating children, that would be a total contribution of $29 BILLION dollars to educating the children of North America. If you put that into a global perspective and asked the number of world-wide millionaires to make that contribution to a world education fund, you would see a pot of $87 BILLION dollars. If you ask the world's billionaires to make the same 1% contribution, that would be an additional $26 BILLION dollars. How far would $1 Trillion dollars go toward educating the children of the world and lifting our common society? I don't know, but I'd sure like to find out.